An unfortunate state of affairs

Abstract

The widespread trauma following the 2015 Ashley Madison data breach highlights a systemic vulnerability inherent in traditional monogamous relationship norms. While infidelity frequently results in severe psychological and social harm, this suffering often derives from a betrayal of trust predicated on vows of sexual exclusivity rather than the sexual acts themselves. These restrictive vows may be functionally counterproductive, as evidenced by the high rates of dissolution in supposedly monogamous societies and the successful maintenance of stability in polyamorous households. Furthermore, the social insistence on sexual exclusivity mirrors infantile relationship dynamics, such as childhood “best friend” exclusions, which are generally outgrown in other areas of adult social life. Biological arguments for monogamy based on innate jealousy fail to justify the institution, as humans regularly transcend evolutionary predispositions through reflection and habituation. Moreover, modern technologies such as contraception and DNA testing have rendered the original evolutionary pressures for exclusivity, such as paternity certainty, largely obsolete. Transitioning toward relationship models that prioritize transparent communication and permit the open acknowledgment of non-exclusive desires would eliminate the capacity for external actors to leverage private behavior for harm, thereby reducing avoidable human suffering. – AI-generated abstract.