I used to be a high-performing robot

Abstract

The concept of agency is often misunderstood as either a synonym for success or an unchangeable personal characteristic. However, personal experience can demonstrate that agency is a learnable skill distinct from conventional achievements. An individual’s early life might be characterized by a mechanical pursuit of external validation and success metrics, driven by a need to dissociate from difficult emotional realities, leading to choices like career paths based on perceived status rather than genuine interest. This pattern can be exacerbated by coping mechanisms such as substance abuse, further constraining personal freedom. Recovery from addiction represents a partial reclaiming of agency, yet deep-seated inertia can maintain unsatisfying life trajectories. Transformative experiences, such as those induced by psychedelics or deep introspection, can be pivotal in recognizing the full spectrum of available choices and the importance of subjective well-being, prompting significant life changes. Ultimately, agency is about the freedom to see and act upon a wider range of possibilities, a capacity that can be developed over time, even after periods of profound constriction and automaticity. – AI-generated abstract.